Grow a Vagina

Twine. It’s a damn fine Cumbrian word. Not the pink and orange stuff that ties Cumbrian country gates to their stoops. It means whinge.

Just saying.

So, it turns out it’s pretty hard getting local media attention, even though you’re local and you’ve done something that promotes the area a little. Four emails and still nothing. Not even a reply to the initial suggestion from one paper.

Obviously I’m chasing promotion, in order to sell my books (I’m blatant with a thin veneer; one to make it respectable, not to hide the blatancy), but it’s a story; the type to expect in a local newspaper. I’m going to sweetly stamp my foot tomorrow afternoon, and phone them. No-one ever gained a thing by not trying. I understand news values, I get that there may well be plenty of better stories in the area these last two weeks. *twine*. I’d better not say that.

Damnit, I only want to write! Self promotion sucks! I only want to do the bits I want to do! ***How childish am I?!***

I’m even enjoying the articles I’m occasionally writing for this wicked, online Internet Copy Writers’ Agency, Copify (which incidentally appears to be based about 40 miles away, at Lancaster University). I used to get frustrated with that type of writing, but I’m starting to relax a bit now; makes a world of difference (to the writing as well as the experience).

I only want to write.

So I need to sell books (no books, no money, no writing full time). So I have to be despicably self-promoting to the people who don’t know me, instead of saturating my poor friends with demands to read and buy. Makes sense to me.

So as the great Betty White apparently didn’t say:

“Why do people say “grow some balls”? Balls are weak and
sensitive! If you really wanna get tough, grow a vagina. Those things take
a pounding.”

I better grow a vagina. The newspapers are getting a call.