Decisions. Small ones made constantly, which shoes, what toothpaste, coffee or not? But big ones … Which job, which town, a child or not? Not chores in an irksome way, but still procrastinated. Change is the problem but remaining undecided can force a person into the fork in the road with the life changing choices, and repercussions. And that means Change is on the whim of the Fates; it’s better to take it on your own terms. You have to jump sooner for that. That comes naturally to some people.
So having held it off for a while, it becomes time to face the positive changes needed.
I have long decided to become a full time freelance writer, keeping on a minimal amount of carework to be on the safe side. I prepared for the change, joined a few more online writing agencies and opened my net a little wider. Those preparations had moved me closer to making the jump. I started getting too much writing work to be able to continue with both jobs. I turned most of that work down so that I didn’t drop my understaffed colleagues in the proverbial, and waited for the company to employ someone who could do my work for me. That was a 3 week wait. One more to go.
Having pushed even one step closer, you find yourself so near to the results of the decision that you could touch it. Except you can’t. One more week to go.
It’s not just the change which is hard to swallow, it’s the having decided to face it, and then hanging around waiting for the day to come.
Monday 11 August 2013 will be the first day of the rest of my life. Wish me luck!