What is change?
What is it about change that unsettles us?
(Is that a question that answers itself?)
Change – and the state of being in flux – is transitory, so if you don’t like it, don’t worry! Everything settles back down as it all stops being new.
But change and transition are scary!
Most people are afraid of big changes. They set their lives in the ruts of their desires, but seem to get stuck on the way. It’s like they just stopped on the same circuit and didn’t get off.
You find that in older people sometimes; it’s like time stopped and they just kept doing the same things. Younger people’s lives are subject to more frequent changes even if those are entirely caused by other people.
It doesn’t matter how old you are, if you’re locked into your routine and its got some good points, big changes are scary when scrutinised in advance.
But here’s the thing: any situation will have its good and bad points; it’s up to you to embrace them. So you’re sat in a bar by yourself in a cocktail dress and you’ve been stood up and it was your first effort at a date since you left your husband.
Are the cocktails good? Is the bartender nice? You’re only a cab-ride away from pizza and the first episode of Jessica Jones in your onesie…
Maybe you’re waiting for the chance of the perfect job to get away from the nightmare you currently attend from 9-5. Do you check the job pages?
How much shit can you tolerate before it forces you to initiate change on purpose? How much fun will it be on the other side? What if it all goes wrong?
If you make a decision to change some important aspect of your life and it turns out to be a mistake in the short term, it’s still possible to make something out of it. You just need to know where you want to go.
Asking yourself how much that mistake will matter in five or ten years is a good way to evaluate it. Think about something silly you did ten years ago. Does anyone care about it now? Do you?
Change is good for you
One of my stock sayings is that it’s better to make big changes on your own terms, because if you hesitate too long, the Fates make you do it anyway. A fancy version of jump before you’re pushed. I often feel as though the changes have already happened before they have. I feel different.
Change is invigorating, and I think it may even be an habitual or addictive mindset for some people, because of this. Our old friend dopamine popping his head up there again.
Change for change’s sake is not always a good idea but again, dopamine and added adrenaline and pals will work to make sure you consider it again real soon.
Change when it’s needed is brave, because most change is costly in emotions or money or both, but the costs are totally worth it.
Soulsubsistence is changing!
There’s going to be way less food because my focus is a long distance from food now. My life has changed in immeasurable ways, and my obsessions have changed with it. Who knew?
I still love food, so there may be the occasional post of a delicious dish, but my foci now are writing and jewellery making, both of which I adore equally.
I realised that as a writer and an author, I need a platform to state my views more clearly, and Soulsubsistence’s focus on food wasn’t helping me do that widely enough. I know I should have opened a new blog but honestly, this year I’ve had enough of new WordPress blogs with my sites sakinamurdock.com (
still a disaster but looks quite nice EDIT: surprisingly looks amazing now!) and practicallyperfectjewellery.com (much better organised but has a 10-year-old design), so you’ll have to forgive me and understand that the blog as a mirror of my life is subject to change of focus.
It’s easy to hide behind the fear of ‘what people might think of me’ or ‘people might not like me’ and couch every opinion in ‘maybe it’s this’ and ‘perhaps it could be seen as’. Unnecessary qualifiers to which many women are prone. I can’t promise that I’ll stop doing that completely, but I want to be brave and express what I really think about the things I see.
‘Not without opinion’ was a term used to describe someone else. I stole it, like a magpie, because it suits me. Expect opinion and new things I’ve found or learned, hopefully well-written.
Stay posted for rants, observations, ruminations, all and any subject I think of, and the usual blow-by-blow accounts of mundane but ridiculous events.
Do you think I could get away with a homage to the old Soulsubsistence, by posting pictures of amazing meals I’ve had with every post, regardless of subject of post? 🙂
Image c/o enoughisenoughau.blogspot.co.uk